Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
