i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Say something about gay babies.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
