I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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