God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
