I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
