First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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