He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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