Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
