I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
