kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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