I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
