so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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