How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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