Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
