I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize