dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
