im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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