How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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