Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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