I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
