I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dick very happy bro
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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