New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize