i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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