That's intense
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
tell me about the eggs
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