we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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