Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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