Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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