If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
