And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
