They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
