She said her name was "party"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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