Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
