It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
