Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
