Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
