Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
