My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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