i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
it was like having sex with a tree stump
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
