Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
