now i know why i became what i already was.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
