Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
