THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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