If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
