I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize