Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
