if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize