we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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