What did we do last night that was yellow?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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