I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
