I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize