I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
