do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
