he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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