Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos