So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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