do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.