Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
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Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.