i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.