fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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